Sounds simple. It is not.
For years I have been trying to figure out what I want to do. I use the phrase ‘what I want to be when I grow up…’
I have been in the data and technology realm since my career started. First as a hydrologist building models and reviewing permits, then an analyst, then a ‘senior’ analyst, then running a business intelligence team, then running a product development team and now running an entire IT department.
This was not intentional.
I wanted to be a contractor. I wanted to be a land developer. I wanted to use a hammer not a keyboard.
I graduated in 2009. A terrible time to become a contractor after the housing market crashed.
That door was closed. Another door was opened… or more appropriately put, I found a thread.
That was data and technology. I didn’t know that though; it was disguised as problem solving. If you want to learn more about that experience I wrote about it here. Needless to say, I kept learning new skills so I could solve new problems and the problems got bigger and so did my roles… and I had a career.
Fast forward 15 years and here I am. I have learned a lot, done some cool things, made mistakes and had some wins but it all has been within the domain of data and technology.
I do not consider myself uniquely talented. I do not have any type of advanced degree. I have no formal training. But I like to figure things out.
I can do this work.
By all outside measures I am pretty good at it. I have held an executive leadership role as a VP for the last 5 years, first at a boutique analytics firm and now at a very large non-profit organization. I just turned 36. I don’t care too much about my title but it serves as a point of reference for this post.
So why have I actively been trying to get away from this field? I do really enjoy it. And from all external measures; I am good at it. But… something?
We will come back to this…
Last night, I recorded a video showing how to setup a Kasa smart light and connect it with Alexa. Brilliant video. A few days before that I made a video showing how I edited some photos of my Jeep, in Lightroom. Fine.
I like to make stuff and learn new things. That has always been the case. So I like to dabble in videos, photography and podcasts, even writing (like this site). I really enjoy these mediums and also have a lot to learn.
Recently, I have been making more and more videos and posting them to YouTube. Maybe one day I will be a famous YouTuber. Right…
I made a video about a light bulb. Now, I am not saying that some people don’t need help connecting a smart light bulb BUT it is still about a light bulb.
I also have been posting on this site everyday. It is great practice and gives me an area to think. I write to think; not think to write. I am not discrediting this writing, it is personally meaningful and maybe a reader can relate and find some value from it.
Now you might think I am on to something with my light bulb setup or how-to videos… maybe I am. I don’t think there is anything wrong with those videos. Maybe my personal website will at some point create passive income and give me more time to make videos about smart electronics. Maybe that is really how I should be spending my time.
OR.
Maybe I make videos about light bulbs because that is safer and easier than making content about something I am really passionate about. Something I have dedicated countless nights and weekends to, years to, over a decade to. Something I have struggled with and fought with to better understand and improve on.
A 15 year education so I know when to think bigger and when to think smaller, when to keep going with an idea and when to pivot. A training that allows me to start silently brainstorming solutions as I listen to someone describe a problem. A way of thinking so embedded into me that as I use an app I am thinking about ways I would change it, ideas for features to add or remove. Have they thought of this? I wonder if they made that decisions because of… Have they explored…?
It isn’t some kind of super power. That is just how I think.
In 2013, when I had just moved back to Florida I was working for a retail media agency running their BI team. For whatever reason, the concept of ‘data smarts’ came to mind. I don’t remember the specifics but for some reason I purchased the domain datasmarts.co (.com was taken and I liked the .co ending more than .net).
I didn’t know what I was going to do with it. I have kept it registered for the past 7 years. There is a website there now. Check it out if you want. It is very average. Just done enough that I can check that box. I haven’t written a post on there in months maybe years. I don’t promote it. I don’t try to generate traffic or work from it. I don’t share any of my application ideas.
Hmm…
But remember, this work isn’t for me. I make videos about light bulbs. I am not sure that Nate from 2013, the one that registered that domain thought it would make a great home for smart device content. He probably had different plans.
I think that sometimes when something comes easy to us we take it for granted. Anyone could do that. It isn’t that big of a deal. Who am I to talk about that…
And then of course we have to navigate imposter syndrome… what if all the sudden you wake up and you are a fraud? You actually cannot do anything that you have been ‘faking’ and everyone sees that you are clueless? What if someone challenges our ideas? What if you actually are wrong?
I don’t know if those ever go away. I think you just get more comfortable dealing with them.
So last night after recording my light bulb video I edited a video I recorded about product development. It was about making a prototype using Excel and PowerPoint.
The difference between the Nate that I saw talking about connecting you light bulb to your WiFi network and the one talking about how you go about building an initial product offering were night and day.
The product video was much easier for me, I was more comfortable, it was more natural. There was a message and value for the viewer. I was sharing my experience and knowledge for the sake of helping someone else. I was leveraging my experience over the past 15 years to communicate thoughts and ideas that are my own.
I was more me in the product video. I could recognize that.
So this morning I posted my first video in years on product development. I am proud of it and I feel good about continuing on that path. I am not too sure where it will lead precisely but I feel like I can absolutely be my authentic self throughout the journey.
I feel like I could talk about this topic forever and also that I need to go back and edit this post but it is late and I need to ship this.
Be who you are.
-Nate
